omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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