I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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