Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
