sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
