i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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