you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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