I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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