Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
