you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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