There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
