I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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