On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
