it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
