how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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