I want to have your abortion
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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