I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
