STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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