is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
