Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
