Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
