Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
