I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
