Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
