I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
