**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
