You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I deserve this hangover.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize