I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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