ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
