She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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