It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
