He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
where are my eyebrows?
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