ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
