Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
