Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
