so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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