chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
