please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
