Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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