I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
