whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
