We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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