There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
