Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
