Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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