This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
