Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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