exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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