After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
