Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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