Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
