I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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