I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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