That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
