i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
