physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
