I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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