They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
