He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
