I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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