shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
